Watching those we love fail …

I do not think there is anything harder to do than watch one we love fail.  Some loves fail quickly.  Some stay on going past believable endurance and yet struggle on to some anniversary or time known only to them when at last they give up the ghost and pass on to whatever they believe.  Be the loved one 2 footed or four — there is some aspect of pain and loss, depending on the situation and journey that was travelled together.

I am watching a dog that has been a part of my life since November 2008 slowly fail — she was a special needs rescue.  I swear she was not house-broken though she was 6 years old when we got her.  She was on 3 different meds for seizures and thyroid issues.  For the first 9 months that we had her she chased our cats and they hid until she went to sleep and then they would skulk down and eat.  For the first 6 months there was a mess on the floor when they kids got off the school bus.  She was famous for going outside and walking and walking in the backyard and then coming in and peeing on the floor.  It took a while … put finally she was house broken and finally she stopped chasing the cats.  It took a little more time and finally the meds got regulated enough that there were no seizures and life was “normal” at our home … but she is about 10 now and she is slowly failing.  A little more confused … going blind … and I am pretty certain going a bit deaf too.

Loss is nothing new in my life and yet each time we watch one fail … images of all those who have gone before sneak into our heads and we wonder.  How rich our life is with all this diverse threads to color it and yet … how sad it gets when one more thread is dropped.